just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
