I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Randomize
