just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
