Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
