marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
