Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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