ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
