all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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