Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Jerry, you need to find god
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Someone signed my nipple.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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