They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Say something about gay babies.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize