dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
