the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
