How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
