Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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