i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
