are you still at the devil's house?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
