so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
