Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
