worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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