How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
