i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
