He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize