exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He felt like a one man threesome
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
