tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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