I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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