Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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