Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have already put on my inside pants.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
