you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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