Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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