I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
