Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
