You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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