the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize