super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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