No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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