my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I could make wine with my vomit
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
