Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My sheets look like a crime scene.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
