A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You are the jesus of drinking
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
