lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
