my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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