Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
