Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
