yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I am one with the molecules
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
