I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize