I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
