But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize