dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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