I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
