i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just found puke in my bra..
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
