I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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