Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
