While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
