Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
