first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
