I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
