he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
