She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
