he shaved USA in his pubs
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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