i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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