im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
