I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
